Besucherzentrum » During a conference

Whoever dubbed New York Claude Giroux Jersey , New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show theatre, right near Mama's Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa's Gas Station ("We burp you on your way.").

To a chorus of infant cries, I drafted this column at 1:00 a.m. Of course, it was 3:00 p.m. in Tokyo, so I suppose it wasn't so late after all.

The whole experience of birthing seems to be a very traumatic way to build a family. Fortunately, it did lead to two very happy results. It gave me a new daughter Nolan Patrick Jersey , Lauralee, the Little Sister. And it taught me some valuable lessons, which it is my patriotic duty to share with you.

The first lesson ?all men, take note ?is that my wife is my hero.

As the husband, I experienced the whole birthing outburst second-hand. After careful observation, I conclude that this is the best way to experience it. (Apparently I had some first-hand experience over 40 years ago Cheap Philadelphia Flyers Jersey , but I can't remember too many details.)

Most husbands suffer great humiliation during childbirth. Wives hurl razor-sharp insults like "I hate you!" and "You fink!" and "You did this to me!" and "I HATE YOU!!!" My wife, truly original even in pure agony, didn't use any of those words. In fact, she didn't say a thing. Instead, she threw up on me.

Of course, I don't hold the throwing up against her. The second lesson I wish to share with you is the importance of forgiving people who act in haste Justin Braun Jersey Youth , in anger, or in excruciating pain from pushing a six-inch wide baby through a one-inch wide hole in their bodies.

Did I mention that this was a "natural" childbirth? Natural, as in no painkillers. OK, so there was the epidural, which should have relieved the pain, if even one of the four dosage increases had worked. And I suppose you could call morphine and nubain painkillers if they had actually killed any pain.

So my wife Brian Elliott Jersey Youth , with a permanent back condition amplifying the stab of every contraction and reverberating it through the spine with no momentary relief between contractions, felt every glorious minute ?487 in all ?of the unplanned "natural" childbirth. Did I mention that she is my hero? The third lesson is, when the best-laid plans go astray, improvise (which might explain the throwing up ?I have reason to believe it was not planned, either).

My wife's trauma was nothing compared to what Little Sister overcame. Her shoulders got stuck, pinching the umbilical cord and cutting the oxygen supply from her not-quite-yet-born brain. To do the equivalent James Van Riemsdyk Jersey Youth , you would have to press your shoulder up into your nose, while a bulldozer on steroids pushes you in a river of blood through your mailbox. (Don't try this at home, folks.)

Thanks to Quick Thinking Doctor, the focused team of nurses, and a well-sharpened pair of scissors, Little Sister is enjoying great suction at the all-night milk bar with no more damage than a limp arm. (That's "brachial plexus injury" in medicalese.) The arm will hopefully recover. Even if it doesn't Scott Laughton Jersey Youth , we know what the alternative would have been ... and we do not look good in black. Lesson number four is to appreciate what you have rather than worry about what you don't.

The Maternity Ward offers far too many lessons to share with you now. My fatigue is overtaking me. I feel like a wad of gum squished on the asphalt, baked in the sun, and stuck on a motorcycle tire burning rubber on a gravel trail. Ha! Bet you never felt like that in New York, New York.

About The Author

The author is David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy. To receive his satirical happiness column weekly in your inbox, sign up at >
Info@

For the last several years Tyler Pitlick Jersey Youth , I have included on my email signature the following salutation "Peace and Abundance." This is a daily reminder that my success begins with how I engage my beliefs. For I know that it is my beliefs that drive my behaviors.

During a conference, one of my mentors shared a very simple exercise that I now use with my clients to demonstrate the power of how our beliefs guide what we shall receive. He asked those in the audience to take a sheet of paper and on the left side write the letter B for Birth and on the right side write the letter D for Death. Upon completion of this task, he then asked, "What was in between?" Answers varied from life to troubles. In his coy and quiet southern accent, he acknowledged every answer as being good, but not quite the one he was seeking. Eventually Sean Couturier Jersey Youth , he stated that what existed in-between birth and death was "just a matter of inconvenience."

How many times have you visited the local gas station in the morning, swiped your credit card and upon completion of filling your tank, you failed to receive the requested receipt? The electronic message is displayed, Please see cashier. Maybe, if you were like me, you stomped up to the cashier's counter with not the most pleasant face and waited in line. As you waited Kevin Hayes Jersey Youth , you looked to your watch and counted the minutes that this delay was costing you. Then, maybe, you gruffly said something like "The pump said I needed to see you for the receipt" or ". Cheap Air Max Jordan For Sale Wholesale MLB Jerseys China Wholesale NHL Jerseys From China Wholesale NFL Football Jerseys Wholesale Soccer Jerseys Cheap Cheap Jerseys Free Shipping Cheap Jerseys Free Shipping Wholesale Jerseys China Wholesale NHL Jerseys